Matters of the heart

Today I began thinking (again) about alters and rituals. You see I have never had an alter for Lilith, nor have I ever preformed some elaborate ritual in her honor. I have never done these because I live in a semi, an alter would get wrecked and there isn't a whole lot of room in here for really much of anything. Now Lilith understands and she knows that I would love nothing more than to give her all this and more, every time I bring it up to her and tell how sorry I am that I haven't she always comforts me and lets me know it's alright and to stop worrying about it. This doesn't mean that I do nothing, I have her picture as my background on my phone and a set of prayer beads I made myself that I use on a regular basis. I talk to her throughout my day just as I would anybody (except I speak with my heart, not my mouth). Anyways, as I sat and thought about the alter issue she spoke to me and this time she didn't simply tell me not to worry so much about it, instead she reminded me that the most important thing is the heart, and I have given her mine. This made me feel better because what's an alter or an elaborate ritual without heart? It's nothing. I think many of us get caught up in the "have to's", feeling like we "have to" do all these things to please our God or Goddess when really they want the same thing we do, a true, pure relationship with unconditional love. I have nothing against having alters or doing rituals, in fact I encourage it, but we should do these things not because we feel we must, but as way way to physically show our love and affection for our Gods and Goddesses. So sure I may not have anything tangible in which to honor Lilith, but I have given her my heart, my love.

"My child, you need not know much in order to please Me.
Only Love Me dearly.
Speak to me, as you would talk to your mother,
if she had taken you in her arms."

Cradle of Filth- Lilith Immaculate

Memories

As I sat pondering what to make my next post on I felt compelled to simply share a few memories.  I remember the first time I learned who Lilith was. I was 17, I had been living in a home where being Pagan was forbidden only Christian was allowed. One day I was online researching the child's tune Pop Goes the Weasel when I learned that the word lullaby came from a phrase meaning "to keep Lilith away." I was then curious as to who this woman called Lilith was, so I began researching her. I remember thinking to myself, "Wow, I wish I could be like her, wild and free chained down by nobody." She spoke to me then, she told me that she was there and she knew that I couldn't do anything at that point and she understood, but she would wait and when the time came she would be there. I never forgot that. When I was about 19 I returned to my Pagan path, but I didn't feel that I was ready for Lilith, she really intimidated me. I began working with Hecate again, although it wasn't the same as it had been, she was much more distant, and I knew why I just didn't want to accept it. Finally I did though and Hecate left me in the capable hands of Lilith. The first thing she wanted me to work on was sex and my sexuality, to accept and explore it in a way I never had before. This one took me some time since being in such a conservative home I had suppressed myself for so long. She understood where I came from and was patient and gentle with me (well as gentle as she could be.) Along with this simultaneously I ended up working on myself esteem. During this time I remember being uncomfortable, a lot. Sometimes though being uncomfortable is good as it helps us grow. Over the time I fell more and more in love with her. Every time I even just thought of her feelings I can't even put words to welled up in me so strong it hurt and sometimes brought me to tears. Still even now this occurs. Once I "graduated" she came to me in a dream and told me that it was time for her to become more of a mother.  She is my mother, my sister, my friend and my lover.

Liliths Cave

Liliths Cave, the place I entered nearly two years ago. I was brought to Lilith by Hecate. Hecate is the one who prepared me, helped me learn my path when I was just starting and guided me by Her blazing torches. At first I didn't want Hecate to leave me with Lilith, she was (or should I say is) so intense, but I was assured that I was ready for this new step. I had to let go and trust them both. Since entering that cave I've changed a lot . It seems Liliths favorite question is, "Why?" and let me tell you, "I don't know" is the wrong answer. She made me face the most teriffying thing out there, myself.  I would like to use this space to share with all those interested, my relationship with my Goddess, Lilith.

Lilith, who is she?

Lilith, who is She? Goddess? Demoness? Sacred prostitute? Succubus? First feminest? Protector of women and children? Killer of women and children? Lover of men? Destroyer of men? The answer is simply, yes. She is all these and more. Lilith has a rich history starting in Mesoptamia as hand of Innana and the dweller of the Huluppu tree. She's found in Babylon and later (probably most famously) in Jewish lore as Adam's first wife. As the first wife of Adam they are created together from the dust of the earth (Gen 1:27), because of this Lilith demands equality. When she is refused she speaks the true name of God and leaves the garden of Eden. After this is when Eve is created (the more well known part), later Lilith returns as a serpent to convince Eve to eat of the fruit of knowledge so that her eyes could be opened to the truth. Through the years Lilith has been called many things and more often than not put in a bad light, but I'm sure if you give her a chance to show her true colors you'll find just how wonderful she truly is.